Stuff Michael Meeks is doing

Off to NCC - Thea spoke; rather exhausted - back for lunch, slept for a chunk of the afternoon. Dinner.
Gordon sermon on Exodus 20 - "The Myth of the Greener Grass" - The 7th commandment.
- You shall not commit adultery. God interested not just in actions, but thoughts too cf. 10th commandment - coveting. Thankfully most people don't need convincing it's a good idea, or detail as to why scripture think's it's such a grevious wrong. Playboy magazine - investigating attitudes - discovered (to their suprise), the overwhelming majority of their readers considered extra-marital sex to be morally wrong. 79% of Americans believe adultery to be always wrong.
- U. of Chicago's national opinion research - 79% of married individuals, in an anonymous survey - insisted faithful to their spouse through their entire marriage. A remarkable concord.
- Applied to everyone married; also everyone not married (of course), applies in a variety of ways: what marriage is. Let marriage be held in honour among all, and the marriage bed undefiled Heb 13
- The command - very broad, language applies to 1 and all, male and female, from King to the servant girl: God held David accountable to this standard - not above the law. Very different to the contemporary culture. Other cultures invariably had different rules for men and women. Ceaser Augustus - the so called Julian laws: criminalised Adultery; enshrined a double standard: for woman: prohibited under all circumstances, men OTOH were explicitely allowed to have other relationships - female slaves, prostitutes, women running businesses & shops etc. - as long as they didn't violate someone else's marriage.
- Christians - viewed as repressed - as honouring the exclusivity of marriage, and sex only within this boundary. 2 passages - where the word adultery - used in reference to that with a married woman: Lev 20:10 (also Jer 29:23) - 2 cases where adultery with 'the wife of another man' - a double standard ? no. typical in legislation to use androcentric language & categories eg. 10th commandment: wives cannot covet others husbands.
- God condemns this idea of a double standard explicitely eg. Hos 4. Unheard of in the societies around. Jesus: Anyone who divorces his wife (except for marital unfaithfullness) and marries another woman [ even a virgin bride ], that man commits adultery. - ie. the man commits adultery against his 1st wife.
- Job 31 - as a married man makes a covenant: I made a covenant with my eyes, not to look lustfully at a girl.
- John 8: woman caught in adultery ... what do you say ? Jews imbibed very deeply of Greek thinking: they only brought the woman in for stoning ! situation mostly a trap - he'd agree that the woman should be stoned - and get in trouble with the Romans who prohibited them from capital punishment. But the OT law both the man, _and_ the woman must die - no double standard.
- Chastity: arguably - the only completely new virtue that Christianity brought into the world. None of the traditional religions imposed ethical demands on the followers pwrt. their sexual behavior; no-where: "husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church & gave himself up for her". Unparalleled in pagan literature.
- Often our problems are somewhat indirect; not the problem itself, but it's precursor: looking at a woman lustfully - committing adultery in the heart. Deal with the root problem. What's wrong with just looking - perfectually natural ? - it's not normal/right.
- C.S.Lewis - suppose you came to a country that could fill a theatre with a covered plate where the cover is lifted slowly as the lights dim: with a mutton chop / piece of bacon on the plate. You would conclude the country had something deeply wrong with their appetite - surely. In a nation that is sex-obsessed, a twist / distortion in our nature - a perversion. So many of us would like to give our spouse a lovely gift; so much is outside our control - money, healty, but you can give your fidelity.
- The remedy for thoughts - assume responsibility for them; Luther: you can't keep birds from flying overhead; but you can stop them making a nest in your hair. When regrettable thoughts come through your head - do you invite them in & entertain them, or shoe them out.
- Not launching a program of censorship; perhaps others are stronger, but we can't take it. Men & women that work together in office - have a divorce rate increase of 70%; vs. single sex. Danger: can a man scoop fire into his lap and remain unburned ?
- Lies get in the way; may of them. Those who pretend that they married the wrong person - as if that were possible. God wants you to fall deep in love with your spouse. You don't know her the way I know her ? - I need to have another marriage ? - God wouldn't want to condem me to this forever would he ? - of course not! God doesn't only want a 2nd marriage for you; he wants a new marriage - every single day: to the same woman (of course).
- Don't buy into the myth of the greener grass - it's fresh and green by the power of God on this side of the fence. Some think another marriage would be better: [in the US] 1st marriages 41% end in divorce (a tragedy), but 2nd marriages worse: 60% are ending in divorce, 73% of 3rd marriages; 4th marriages - would do worse - but people are dead by then. Make it work with the wife in your arms.
- 1992 Health & social life survey - be all & end all survey - taking place of long discredited Kinsey survey; pops a lot of myths & balloons. Men who have the most liberal attitudes about sex are actually 75% more likely to fail to satisfy their partners, than those who have the most conservative attitudes. You want to have a happy sexy life ? - adopt God's attitudes & you'll be roaring: ready to go. Men: those who think they're living sexually liberated, adventerous lives, turns out - it's married couples who are by far the happiest with their sexual life.
- Interestingly the most sexually fulfilled demographic group of all categories - couples who in their 50s (50-59) - are having all kinds of electicity & fireworks. It even gets better than that, dear friend in the 60s, double dates every now & then - at the end turn to his wife and say 'well - Vi - time to go home' - wait Richard, your wife's name isn't Vi ... turns out it's his pet-name for her: 'Viagra'. In a healthy marriage - it gets better & better.
- The best remedy ? the fellowship of believers a great help to live the life you were made for: the theif comes to kill steal & destroy; but Christ said I've come that you might have life & have it abundantly. Some say - but the church isn't doing so well: the Barner group claims divorce rates blievers/unbelievers at parity: but study published Handbook of Religion OUP 2001 - if instead of asking what they believe - if all you do is ask: do you attend church: radically different results.
- After 15 years of marriage 37% of infrequent church goers are no longer married, compared to 14% of frequent (once/month) goers. The fellowship of believers; the redemption Christ brings. Do yourself a favour: fall in love with your own wife. He who loves his wife loves himself, see her through the eyes of forgiveness, of Christ. Prov 5.

My content in this blog and associated images / data under images/ and data/ directories are (usually) created by me and (unless obviously labelled otherwise) are licensed under the public domain, and/or if that doesn't float your boat a CC0 license. I encourage linking back (of course) to help people decide for themselves, in context, in the battle for ideas, and I love fixes / improvements / corrections by private mail.

In case it's not painfully obvious: the reflections reflected here are my own; mine, all mine ! and don't reflect the views of Collabora, SUSE, Novell, The Document Foundation, Spaghetti Hurlers (International), or anyone else. It's also important to realise that I'm not in on the Swedish Conspiracy. Occasionally people ask for formal photos for conferences or fun.

Stuff Michael Meeks is doing

2005-05-29: Sunday